Good Morning Loves,
It has been a while since I have updated, I have been in a huge amount of pain, but now that I had the depo shot once again, it helped a lot on the pain, its much tolerable. Sunday I had a emotional breakdown, I got tired of reaching out to people and not being heard after years of me hearing them, and being there for them, but I also know a lot of them are introverts, I am not. So in 1 month and 7 days, I have a surgery, and my plan after that, I have started this process already, stop reaching out to others that are non responsive. My best friend told me how If I have to keep reaching out, and if it makes me feel this bad, and I put so much effort into the friendship to get so little effort back, they do not deserve my friendship, shes right. the sad part, for friendship, I guess I could really say I have less than 5 to be able to confine in, but that’s a blessing. I am a naturally a social butterfly, does not mean I share everything to everyone. Things happen for a reason.
I love my friends do not get me wrong, but I do have to surround myself with positive people, that is what my shrink said. I know that would help a ton. I managed to delete so many people off my phone their numbers / contact information, which I have no contact with for so long, including negative people. I know I deserve so much more.
Yesterday this older man who just had a back surgery and is in the wheel chair til later this year, I said to him at work:
Morning! (he smiles) today is going to be an awesome day!
yes today will be an awesome day, because you are here
of course I swooned, I mean how can I not?! then hes all like “dance your way back to work” because I was just being silly and goofy. it inspire people and smiles can be so infectious while some I have to deal with who has black clouds over their heads ALL the time, as they have no hope. that is really sad. it is so difficult to be around people who speaks of nothing but negative. You mention something good they manage to drag it down.
The question you need to ask yourself – who deserves YOUR friendship?
I have to go wake my son up – poor guy 545 am.