Good Evening Loves ❤
Today was a tough day, I had to leave work once again half day, I did what I could, I did so much for my team over the years, and I forget I have to pick and choose my battles, today my emotions got the best of me – I was hurting, but I was sitting with my friends and some people during lunch and laughing talking about kids, while the others were not involved in it, I left work before it came to the woozy dizzy spell, I walked out limping, and to find out the other people said some mean comments how I must not be in pain because I was laughing and they would not be laughing if they were in pain.
So my question is – why cannot I laugh while I am in pain? its a distraction. I was so upset and so hurt, because I do favors and help, and I am nice to pretty much to everyone to get this disrespect? the management found out about it and they were given a talking to. but in the end, after I was raging, crying, in pain, upset, hurt it came across my mind while I held in so much at the end, I cry every day because I am in pain. People’s behavior no matter what ages they are at, they are still stuck in high school, how can that be?
I try to stay out of drama, while I like to hear them, its funny at times, but I do not want to be a part of it, I have enough soap opera in my life – face it, I am a mom, a wife, friend, sister, daughter, yeah I got my soap opera, and I choose my battles, how I behave affects my relationships with others, if I behave childish, it could cost me a lot, if I behave good then I gain. I am a bit embarrassed with my actions today of raving on to my friend, and I was like why… WHY would they think that badly of me? why do they have to do that? while I expect some who are “misery loves company” but that misery I did NOT deserve. I was reminded how great of a person I am, and I am truly blessed to know who really deserves me in their lives. while I have 2 days left of work (hoping I do not get sick since my kid is sick) I am going to walk in, put my head phones on, do the best I can do at my job, and those who hurts me, probably will not be speaking to me, but that’s okay, I know I am a bigger person, I try to be the best I could be, while I cave in some of my emotions and anger, I am only human, I am very loved by my friends and family, its okay if I am not well liked by everyone, but I will still walk in the room with my head up high, with hopes, smiles and pleasantness 🙂 its another day tomorrow.
While I feel so depressed now, I really really REALLY hope this surgery helps my pain, I want to start living life again, everything was taken away from me – I cant do anything without hurting. it also opened my eyes, maybe its a blessing, because the last few months has been really rough, and there are a few people who has been on my side, forever I am grateful for, and for those who left me after I have been there for them from distances or being in their presence they do not deserve my friendship.
everything you do in life is a test. it has to be. 3 more days til the surgery, positive thoughts and prayers please.